In the busy pace of life, an important question comes up: Can humans be their own worst enemies? This makes us think deeply about whether we are friends or foes to ourselves. It pushes us to reflect on our lives.
Humans can indeed be their own worst enemies because they have a surprising ability to self-destruct easily.
As I thought about my inner child, I saw my life unfold from childhood to adulthood. I noticed many times when I hurt myself deeply and burdened my soul too much. I remembered times when I said ‘yes’ even though my inner voice said ‘no,’ and moments when I failed to move forward. I realized how I created stories of being a victim in my mind.
Many parts of my life were painful revelations I hadn’t seen before. I understood then that we can easily become our own worst enemies.
Path of Enmity:
American writer and psychologist Barbara de Angelis says, “You might think ‘enemy’ is a strong word, but sometimes our minds get out of control, and it’s hard to understand that.”
We start creating a path of hostility in our minds by feeding it with one negative thought after another. These thoughts create dramatic stories, and we play the part until we become more hostile to ourselves.
How often have you experienced this? You contact a friend, and when they don’t reply right away, you start to worry. Your mind creates scenarios: maybe they’re upset, ignoring you, or you don’t matter to them. As your anxiety and fear grow, you feel even worse.
Later, your friend calls and explains they had an emergency at work, and your mind’s made-up story wasn’t true. This happens to all of us.
We are responsible for our thoughts, but we often see ourselves as victims in our life stories. We tend to blame others for our problems, anger, and pain, even though we are the ones causing these feelings in ourselves.
Managing Thoughts:
Our thoughts are like gardeners in the fields of our souls, and we are the farmers who plant and nurture the seeds. If we plant seeds of criticism and doubt, we will grow a lack of self-confidence, distraction, and helplessness. If we plant seeds of pain and sadness, we will harvest weakness and despair. But if we choose to plant seeds of love, hope, and positivity, we will grow confidence, ambition, and success.
Pay attention to your thoughts to see what you have planted. It’s time to remove the weeds, the negative thoughts, and plant roses in our lives. Let’s cultivate love, health, wealth, and happiness and become our own best friends.
Transforming the Mind:
Barbara de Angelis says, “Your mind creates your experience of reality, so you need to make your mind a friend and use this power constructively instead of destructively. The important thing is to know that your mind is working for you, not against you.”
Imagine you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and speak negatively to yourself, feeling frustrated. You go through the day forgetting how you spoke to yourself. Now, imagine someone else talking to you or someone you love in that negative way. You would likely get very angry and defend yourself or your loved one, even though this is how you talk to yourself all the time.
Passive self-talk creates distance and hostility within ourselves when we let our minds abuse and disturb us, affecting our mood and behavior.
Isn’t it ironic that we avoid places or people who disturb us, yet our mind is often the greatest source of our disturbance?
Barbara says, “When you let your mind be your enemy by ignoring your negative self-talk, you are not friends with yourself. Every moment, you have the choice to use your mind as a friend or an enemy.”
Barbara’s Recommendations:
Watch your mind when you wake up, while you are working, and when you are interacting with others. Notice how much negative feedback you give yourself throughout the day. The more aware you are of your thoughts, the more you can control them.
Here are some steps Barbara recommends:
- Make a pact with yourself for one day to focus on and be mindful of your thoughts. Carry a small notepad and write down any negative thoughts that come to mind.
- Choose your thoughts instead of letting your thoughts choose you. Don’t believe every thought that pops into your head. You can say, “No, thanks, I’m not interested in that idea right now.”
- If your mind offers you a negative thought, simply replace it with a more positive one, any thought you prefer.
- When a negative thought comes to you, ask yourself where it will take you: to joy, pain, fear, or love? Decide if you want to follow it.
- Accept yourself as you are. When we accept and love ourselves, we can build a true friendship with our minds.
- Treat yourself with care, knowing you deserve love and attention. Appreciate your value, be tolerant of yourself, learn from your mistakes, and avoid dwelling on regret and criticism.
Through self-care, we build strong bonds with ourselves and become our own best friends.
Published: 31st July 2024
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